Hermione's Diary
by yayme2012
Summary: Ever wondered what Hermione was really thinking? This is just mainly embarrassing things between Hermione and Draco...Yay!
1. The Train Ride aka The Eyelash Fiasco

A/N: I know that this sounds like a weird version of Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging. Yeah, I did sort of base it on it, but whatever. Tally ho! Or whatever they say in England.

A/N 2: Wrote this fic about a year ago, as a retarded joke when one of my friends said I couldn't write. I was cleaning out my old files and found this, and decided to post it, just to see if people liked it… heehee. No flames!

7:30 AM- Well, Mum says we're finally here! They have to drop me outside the train station, because they can't go into Platform 9 ¾, for obvious reasons.

I can't believe I'm finally going back to Hogwarts! After a whole three months of practicing magic in the living room and pretending I'm watching the telly whenever my parents come around, I'm going back! Oh, it'll be great. I'll get to do magic as much as I want. And make fun of Ginny behind her back. And hang out in the common room. With… I don't know, I don't really hang out with people other than Harry and Ron and Ginny. But I'll be fine just seeing them. As long as I can look in on a particular platinum blond… well, let's just say, this year is going to be perfect. Perfect, perfect, perfect.

7:41- This year isn't quite so perfect. My rolling luggage broke halfway to the station, and when I fixed it (magically), a family of tourists saw me. It took forever to erase their memories. Or at least it seems like forever, when I'm waiting to see _him_.

7:53- Okay, let's make it clear. This year bloody sucks. About a million middle-aged guys have stopped and asked me where my mum is. Bloody hell, I'm 17 for crying out loud! Well, almost 17. I still have a month left. At this rate it will take me forever to get to the station.

8:24- This is torture. And bliss. At the same time. I'd barely gotten on the train, when _he_ came straight up to me and asked me to come and sit with him. I stood there, shocked, trying to think of what to say- "I'm so flattered"? "Get the #$ away"?

I let out a strangled, "What?!"

Real smooth, Hermione. You might as well put up a sign on your forehead saying, "I totally love Draco!"

"You know, sit with me?" Draco said, giving me a blank look. "We're the heads. We're supposed to be sitting together in the compartment reserved for heads. The heads compartment."

"Erm, okay," I said, blushing.

I followed him back to the compartment. He kept looking back at me on the way. He probably is already calling me 'Crazy Mudblood'. This year just gets better and better.

It's great. And terrible. He's just inches away from me, and I could just reach over and touch him softly and tell him that I-

No, stop it, Hermione. He'd laugh in your face and tease you forever.

Better and better. Now I'm talking to myself.

8:39- It was getting quite awkward in the compartment, just me and him, so I popped out for a bit to visit Ron and Harry (and Ginny too because she hangs out with us because she can't make any friends because she's a stupid gingerkid). They were stuffing their faces with chocolate frogs as if everything was normal.

Which it isn't.

Because I think that it's possible that Draco fancies me.

A little while ago, he was just staring at me. Then he left the compartment for a while and when he came back he couldn't take his eyes off me.

I snapped at him, "Take a picture, it lasts longer

He took out a camera(I'm surprised he had one, considering he's pureblood) and snapped a shot.

He left again, probably to show his friends the picture.

I'm sure he fancies me.

8:41- He doesn't fancy me.

As I was leaving, Ginny said, "You know your fake eyelashes are falling off, right?"

I think I will die.

8:42- Just got back from the bathroom fixing my eyelashes. Could I really not have noticed for a whole hour?

8:44- Agghh, I'm so stupid. Stupid, stupid Hermione.

8:46- Maybe I'm just… different. Maybe I have some kind of disease where I can answer any question or do any homework, but can't even notice when my eyelashes are falling off. Yes, that's it. And then it can be like one of those sappy movies where the heroine gets a terrible disease and is almost dieing, when with the help of a lung transplant and a hero, a hero with white-blond hair and soft lips and-

Stop it, Hermione. Just stop it.

This talking to myself thing has really got to stop.


	2. Welcome to Hogwarts! aka Mmm, pudding

A/N: Yes! I actually got reviews… haha. On with the next chappie! Toodle-oo.

4:12- Just popped down to the loos to escape the huge crowds. Could the first years get any dumber? No, those swotty idiots are just standing looking at the pretty invisible horses. Of course. I'm in a very bad mood, so I will have to punish them later. Cleaning with Filch? Note to self: ask McGonagall about new powers as head.

4:13- I hear a knocking at the door. Should I open it?

2:14- Perhaps it's Draco. Better get ready. Good thing I have emergency makeup in my bag.

4:15- Have just had a dreadful thought. What if it's one of those rapists you hear about on T.V? Must prepare self-defense. The person is still beating on the door. Opening door in 3…2…1!

4:20- Well, that was mortifying. It was the train conductor saying that everyone had left. Oh, poo. I was looking forward to seeing Draco.

5:00- Have just arrived to Head's Room. Well, rooms. It's lovely, of course. All red and gold and cosy. And there's a door right between Draco's room and mine. Hmmm, that would be great at night… Shut up, brain!

5:05- Have been thinking about what HIS room looks like. Have been also pondering use of door. It would be very useful, if Draco didn't think I was a creepy stalker.

5:06- Which I am. Sigh. Is there no love in this world? Time to dress for the opening supper.

6:00- Supper was the same as usual, of course. Dumbledore's rambling about Hogwart's being a magical place(well duh), then the magical appearing of nibbly-bits. Of course Harry and Ron are pigs. Don't even want to think of Ginny's eating habits. Bet Draco is a neat eater… maybe I should look over. Oo er, don't want to seem obsessed.

6:02- Took just a glance. Didn't see him eating anything. And he was laughing. I hope not about the eyelash fiasco earlier.

6:03- Is he looking at me? I think he's looking at me.

6:04- Oh no. He isn't _looking_ at me. He's laughing and pointing. Come on, how immature is he? That happened years ago. Well, hours ago. Hmm. Now he's mouthing something… what… OH BUGGER!

6:30- In the head's bathroom rinsing off my robe and hair. What happened, you ask? Well, _someone_(cough Ron cough) thought it would be funny to levitate a ball of pudding over the head girl. And _someone _accidentally lost control and dropped it. On my head. I will be crying myself to sleep tonight. Ron better look out tomorrow

6:41- Was practically sobbing already when Draco came in. Pulled my self together and looked at him with casualosity (which I am a master of). He just kind of stared at me while I glared.

"You could have told me, you know."

"Told you what?" his eyes smoldered. Stupid eyes. Stop smoldering.

"That a ball of pudding was levitating over my head. Or earlier that there was a false eyelash stuck to my cheek." I was angry now.

"What are you talking about?" he said mock innocently.

I slammed the door and ran to my room.

"C'mon, Hermione! It was really funny anyway! I didn't think you'd be so mad…"

I pretend I couldn't hear him and burrowed up in my bed. I heard him sigh and walk back to his room.

I smiled in my fake sleep. He _totally _wants me.


	3. Roomies aka Dude, Where's My Pads?

A/N: Next chapter was inspired by monkicrazzi… Love you Christina! Haha… R/R!

Thursday

3:15- Yes! Have a free period… with Draco. I should probably stop over to his room. But I must display casualosity. Ginny always says that guys would rather ask a girl out who's sophisticated that crude. She's never had a boyfriend anyways. Not that I have either…

This talking-to-myself thing is really starting to get addictive!

What to wear…

3:16- Have changed into jeans. No, too muggle-like.

3:17- Have changed into robe. No, too traditional.

3:18- Have changed into skirt. No, too slutty.

3:19- Have changed into shorts. Perfect!

3:21- Walked into the room and asked Draco about potions or something. He stared at my legs. Aerobics must be paying off.

3:22- Oh, that was slightly embarrassing. Draco says I have some blood on my leg. Well, I just will slip off the shorts and use a band-aid… OH!

3:23- Thought these pads were supposed to be "magic". Stupid bloody ads. Come on, they only lasted for three hours! Even muggle products are better.

3:30- Oh dear God. I have looked through every single one of my suitcases, shelves, and compartments. They are ALL gone. Every single kind of feminine hygiene product I own is gone. I have two equally embarrassing options: Ask Draco if he's seen them. Or ask Ginny for some. This is a hard decision(not).

"Draco?"

"What?"

"Have you seen… um…"

"What?"

"The you-know-whatsits…"

"What?"

"What I'm really trying to say is…"

"Get on with it, Hermione!"

I took a deep breath, and then chickened out.

"They're in a blue box, and each one is in a green wrapper. They're little square things, and…"

"Oh, those weird napkin thingies." Draco was acting overly innocent.

"What happened to them, Draco?" I was getting impatient.

"They didn't work."

"What do you mean?"

"They didn't work when I dried my hands on them." Haha! He thought they were little hand towels. I pretended to think whilst I silently laughed.

"It's fine, Draco," I said when I recovered.

3:35- A thought has occurred to me.

"Draco?"

"What?"

"Have you seen the thingies… like the other thingies… but round-ish… and um… in a blue box?"

"I have no idea what you're on about. Oh, wait… the nosebleed helpers?"

"What?"

"You know, you use them for nosebleeds. You stick them up your nose and…"

"Ew, ew, just stop right now. So you're telling me… you used them… for a nosebleed."

"Yep."

"You used the whole box?"

"Yep."

"There were over fifty in there."

"Um… I got a lot of nosebleeds?"

I paused.

"Are you just messing with me or what?"

"Hm?"

"Oh never mind." I turned away and did my homework for a change.

5:00- Need some advice, so I'm popping down to Gryffindor.

5:15- Walking with Ron in the courtyard.

"Why do men have to be such absolute prats?" I snarled angrily.

"What?" He was confused.

"When a guy is mad or whatever, and he steals your stuff, or does something really annoying, or whatever, why? I really honestly want to know why." I stared at the ground furiously.

"Umm," Ron said, caught off guard. He thought I was talking about The Pudding Incident, and I kind of was, but more about Draco. "Maybe, erm, the guy like, likes the girl, and he doesn't know how to say it, and…"

I tuned out his ramblings. Maybe Draco did like me! I knew Ron did, if this awkward conversation was any proof.

"Thanks so much, Ron!" I interrupted him and kissed him on the cheek before running off. He looked up, startled, and stared after me as I skipped away.

5:30- Draco is out. Perfect. This plan is definitely going to work.

5:45- Success! Have found both pads and tampons under his bed, as well as some… erm, private things. I ran in my room as soon as I heard him come in. Wonder if he'll ask me about it later.

6:00- Hasn't asked me about it. What is taking him so long?

6:15- Still hasn't asked me about it.

6:30- Still nothing.

6:45- Arrgghh. Nothing.

7:00- Guys are so exhaustifying. Must rest… stupid Draco…zzzzzzZZZZZ.

A/N: Yay! Done with chap 3! 2 1/3 pages! Yess!

Don't think this was as funny as chaps 1 or 2, but the best is yet to come… Mwahaha!

Remember: Today is National Be-Nice-To-Retards Day!


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